Best Laid Plans

Well I started this blog with every intention of updating it regularly. However, as Robert Burns wrote: “The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men/ Gang aft a-gley”. Since my plan is to pursue writing after retirement, I needed to up-date my home office starting with a new computer. I decided on a desktop rather than a laptop so I could have a larger screen and I have an adequate laptop if I want to travel with it. Trying to be frugal I purchased a renewed Dell Optiplex similar to what I use at work. I set it up on my old desk and started the process of creating this website. Everything worked fine, other than I forgot to proof read my initial blog. Once I opened my website and saw some obvious errors I decided to edit it. Unfortunately I didn’t remember my password. (Sometimes I don’t like getting old.) That weekend I started my new computer with some difficulty. I had to restart several times with various Windows error messages and didn’t get to the edit or writing my next post. The next time I tried to start the computer I got a Windows stop code. I tried several times to reset and/or repair windows and start the computer but kept getting stop codes. I emailed customer support and made a new Windows boot disc. When I tried to install it I couldn’t because the hard drive partitions were the wrong type. A couple of calls and messages resulted in enough frustration I decided to return the computer. I got an RMA number and a prepaid UPS label for the return. However, the unit came as a package with the computer and monitor in separate boxes. UPS will not accept the same label on tow packages so I had to call customer support again and get a second label. By this time I was totally frustrated and found a new HP Ryzen 5 desk top and monitor in stock at the local big box electronics store. I bought it and am now using it. Hoping it will continue to function. It is very fast and I love the 24″ monitor. Now I need to replace my old desk and chair.

Just for fun I decided to post a short story I wrote while in high school. I wrote it ‘tongue in cheek’ and after going through it realize the writing is not very good. But, it was printed in the school literary magazine that I still have. Otherwise, the original story would be lost.

Please comment and let me know your thoughts to both my ramblings and the story.

C. Buck Jones

The Very Old and Toothless Dragon

Once upon a Time, in the merry old Town of Cloister, which was the town surrounding the castle of Sir John, the Dragon Slayer and Damsel Rescuer. There lived a wise old shepherd whose sheep were constantly being stolen by a cunning, old, Toothless, smoke breathing dragon, which lived just outside of The Town. This dragon was so cunning and clever that not even Sir John, the Dragon Slayer and Damsel Rescuer’s best knights could slay him, and he was so old and toothless that he had to take The sheep he had stolen to the ugly old Troll’s bubbling hot spring on The other side of The hill from the Town of Cloister.

One day the wise old old shepherd went to Sir John, the Dragon Slayer and Damsel Rescuer, to complain about the very old and toothless dragon that was stealing his sheep.

“Sir John, I have come to register a complaint, said the wise old shepherd.”

“Well, wise old shepherd, what kind of complaint do you wish to register?”  replied Sir John he Dragon Slayer and Damsel Rescuer.

“Oh!” explained the wise old shepherd, It is the very old and toothless dragon that is stealing my sheep, sire.”

“Ha, ha, ha, ha!” laughed Sir John, The Dragon Slayer and Damsel Rescuer. A very old and toothless dragon eh?”

“But sire, he is also very cunning and clever. Why, not even your best knights could slay him!” exclaimed the wise old shepherd.

“I Sir John, The Dragon Slayer and Damsel Rescuer, shall slay this very old and toothless dragon.” stated Sir John, boastfully, since he had already slain ninety-nine young and toothful dragons.

“Very well, sire,” replied the wise shepherd as he left.

The next morning Sir John, fully dressed in his second best suit of armor with a long red feather in the helmet, strutted to his big white charger, which had a silver saddle and red bridle, and mounted with the help of his squires and pages.

Sir John rode across the drawbridge, through the town of Cloister and info the pastures of the wise old shepherd, who was tending his flock of fluffy white sheep.

“Wise old shepherd,” began Sir John, has the very old and Toothless dragon appeared to steal your fluffy white sheep?”

“No sire,” answered the wise old shepherd, “but he will shortly.”

Sir John, the Dragon Slayer and Damsel Rescuer dismounted with the help of the wise old shepherd and sat down to wait for the very old and toothless dragon. It came shortly, as the wise old shepherd had said, for there could be seen a cloud of black smoke moving swiftly towards the wise old shepherd’s fluffy white sheep. Sir John in his second best suit of armor with long red feather in the helmet stood ready to face the onrushing dragon, while the wise old shepherd ran to tell the people of the town of Cloister what was about to happen.

When the town’s people arrived, all that could be seen was the cloud of black smoke, but when that cleared there lay Sir John, the Dragon Slayer and Damsel Rescuer, with his second best suit of armor with the long red feather in the helmet stained by The smoke.

Sir John struggled to his feet and in a mighty oath declared, “I l have not begun to fight!”

Stomping to his white charger with the silver saddle and bridle, he mounted with the help of The town’s people and the wise old shepherd and rode from the wise old shepherd’s pastures, through the town of Cloister, across the drawbridge, and up to his ingenious wizard, whom he ordered to make a potion to keep away The smoke.

The next morning, Sir John, The Dragon Slayer and Damsel Rescuer, fully dressed in his best suit of armor with the long blue and yellow feathers, sauntered up to his big black charger with a gold saddle and blue and yellow bridle, mounted with the help of his squires and pages, and rode across the drawbridge, through the town of Cloister, through the wise old shepherd’s pastures, and The hill to the ugly old troll’s bubbling hot spring, where he found the very old and toothless dragon and The ugly old troll sitting, boiling the wise old shepherds fluffy white sheep.

Sir John dismounted with sword and potion in hand and shouted. “Very old and toothless dragon, prepare to meet thy death!”

Startled, the very old and toothless dragon, blowing smoke, charged ferociously, but Sir John had drunk his very ingenious wizard’s potion and was not fazed by the smoke. But the ugly old troll was fazed and fell into his bubbling hot spring shouting his last words, “Why is everybody always picking on me?”

Having missed Sir John on the first charge, the very old and toothless dragon charged again, but this time Sir John landed a crashing blow to the very old and toothless dragon’s left knee, causing him to fall into the ugly old Troll’s bubbling hot spring.

Moral: If you are a very old and toothless dragon stay away from the town of Cloister, which is the town surrounding the castle of Sir John, the Dragon Slayer and Damsel Rescuer, who has already slain ninety-nine young and toothful dragons and one very old and toothless dragon.